How Thinking Differently About Your Relationship Can Change Everything
by Mitch Temple

Paperback: 176 pages
Publisher: Moody Publishers (January 1, 2009)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0802450148
ISBN-13: 978-0802450142


Description (Publisher Website)
What if you were sitting in a room with all sorts of struggling couples, and you were one of them? What would it take to turn your marriage around in a short period of time? Mitch Temple says it would take a change of mind, of heart, and of practice, all of which could be done by two people willing to discard the old myths and put on the new truth.

Mitch has been a family therapist for many years and is on staff with Focus on the Family, bringing his counseling expertise and humor to the table for you to munch on. Real-life stories and biblical solutions will encourage readers that their marriage can turn around! Sample chapters:

• “But I didn’t marry my soulmate!”
• “I can change my spouse...can’t I?”

Review

This is a great resource for all married couples. Whether you've been married for 5 years or 20, whether your relationship is pretty good or on the rocks, this book will have something for you in it.

According to Mr. Temple, there are "marriage myths that can make a couple miserable and mess up any good relationship". For years we've been fed the belief that we all deserve to be happy no matter what, that we have to find our soul mate, happiness is everything and then my personal favorite is "I shouldn't have to ask" (that's the mind reader theory). This book will help you readjust unrealistic expectations and replace them with more realistic ones.

This book looks at each of these and more and dives into them. Busting the myths helps people realize that maybe we're expecting too much and that maybe we're too focused on ourselves.

To me what really struck a chord in this book was the common sense applied here. As I've told my kids over and over, marriage is hard. It takes work to sustain a marriage. We've been fed the 'fairy-tale ideal' for way too long - the idea that after we're married we'll automatically live happily ever after. Wrong. I've also told my kids that there are always three sides to a marriage - hers, his and the truth. This book is like the best friend who will look objectively at your relationship and give you some truths.

This book would be great as a couples group book. It's also one that would be good to revisit at different points in your marriage. Personally, I'm going to give a copy to each of my kids. I have one who's been married for a couple of years now and one who's just getting married. I wish this book had been around when I was married.