My mother to this day will tell you that I was not fat growing up. There are pictures in my book that prove otherwise…Oh the love of a mother. I believe that it was my mother’s point of view that inevitably gave me mine. I have a very good friend that has struggled with her weight since childhood too but she has told me before how her mother would make negative comments about her weight rather than being supportive. I think she has bitter feelings about being fat partly related to this. I know that given the opportunity to be left alone with little Johnny who did not pick her for the kickball team in the fifth grade because she was the “fat kid” it could get a little messy….and not for her :) My mother never harped at me about my weight or told me I was fat. According to her I was just “big-boned.” To me I was fat. Today I am fat. I am not angry about, mad at anybody because of it, and know that there are reasons for it but also know that I will eventually lose some poundage but will never be skinny. And I do not want to be skinny. I was not born to be a skinny chick even if my doctor tells me that at my height of 5’6” and large frame I should weigh 140. Sorry, that is never going to happen, it is a physical improbability.

In Making Light of Being Heavy there are pictures of me at around 170 my senior year in high school. I had dieted like mad to get into a prom dress that I bought for senior prom and I was “skinny.” I can remember my dad coming up beside me at the dinner table one night and pointing out my shoulder bone and hip bone and telling me to stop with the dieting. But according to the weight guidelines I was still 30 pounds overweight!

People should find a comfortable weight for them and consider that their weight guideline and just smile politely at their doctor who whips out the chart that says otherwise. A person’s main focus should be that they are healthy. I may be fat but I am healthy. People will ask how that is possible… if I am fat I must automatically be unhealthy. I am 42 and even though I am considered in the medical field “obese” I do not have high blood pressure, diabetes, heart problems, varicose veins, joint problems, etc. Am I just lucky?